The Red Jumpsuit Alliance

JennX's Blog – April 2008 Archive (7)

Spencer and Jenn =) 4-23-08

Awakening Love

I remain awake through the night, I lay in bed, thoughts of you floating in my head. Why cant I get you out of there? I think about you all the time but you don’t seem to care. I look at the clock as it strikes three, and I still haven’t gotten an ounce of sleep. My thoughts of you I treasure and keep. But they don’t help me get any sleep. I cant get her out of my head I keep thinking of all the things she said. Why cant I get you out? Your in my head every day, every… Continue

Added by JennX on April 23, 2008 at 9:17pm — 1 Comment

Insomia

These past 2 years have been so screwed up, I'm surprised I haven't fallen into despair. I've been so close to just giving up, and giving my life up to the one who is supposed to make things better. My wounds have not healed, my heart is still torn and bleeding. He was supposed to heal them, and make things real. But all I see now is darkness and fear.

Chorus: So give me a smile, show me a tear. Try to cheer me up cause I'm drowning here (Im drowning here). This world is a bitter… Continue

Added by JennX on April 11, 2008 at 3:13pm — 1 Comment

Behind the Black Shadows

I wake up from a cold sweat,shaking,scared,alone,depressed,tortured by insomia. Voices I hear but cannot see,tell me to do something that will hurt me.At least it will ease the pain I am feeling. Wait, What am I thinking? I need to ignore the nagging in my head, the desire to grab that knife and end things. Instead I will try to sleep, but no I can't. The vision of me screwing up again haunts me. What is wrong with me? Can anybody hear me? My screams, my cries? Can anybody see my tears,… Continue

Added by JennX on April 9, 2008 at 5:14pm — 1 Comment

This is for him......

Lying in the street....looking up towards the sky....there are no stars tonight, just a bunch of black clouds, it looks so lonely and its so cold outside. The rain mixes in with the tears staining my face. My body aches with pain, not physical pain, but the pain of regret. The pain of sorrow, the pain of having to live each day without knowing. Without knowing what went wrong. What could have made him stop talking. What could have made him stop waiting....I dont understand.....was it me? Or was… Continue

Added by JennX on April 9, 2008 at 5:07pm — 1 Comment

Innovation

(Put a bullet in my brain let darkness fill my days. Let the earth spin round let me fall to the ground.....)

-Here I am drowning in my existance. My heart is torn to pieces it can never be fixed. My body is cut and bleeding so the wounds can never heal. My soul has been damaged beyond repair. I tried to be strong, tried to move on, but I had nothin to hold onto. My dreams were swept away. My life will never be the same cause I have lost my way.So.......

Chorus: Save me… Continue

Added by JennX on April 8, 2008 at 7:48pm — 3 Comments

What lies Beneath....

What lies beneath the girl you see on the outside? What lies beneath the empty smile, the forced laugh, the shining eyes that you seem to see and hear everytime you are near? Take a guess. You will never guess right I bet. What lies beneath is a girl struggling to find a place in this hellhole she has to call a home. Shes trying to find a place in her mothers heart, while enduring the coldness her mother puts upfront. Shes lost...confused....exiled. This girl is trying to deal with the confused… Continue

Added by JennX on April 8, 2008 at 7:45pm — No Comments

Omg...my first blog......wowww

ok...ummm idk relli waht to say...but ummmmm since im new I guess I will just say that if u wanna b friends u can add me....dont b shy to comment cuz I will tlk back =) also....I write alot of poetry and songs and I will post them on here...I love constructive critizim so plz....enlighten me =) ok. so hope to hear from u people and ummm tlk to u l8terz

Added by JennX on April 8, 2008 at 11:12am — No Comments