What lies Beneath....

[JennX]

What lies beneath the girl you see on the outside? What lies beneath the empty smile, the forced laugh, the shining eyes that you seem to see and hear everytime you are near? Take a guess. You will never guess right I bet. What lies beneath is a girl struggling to find a place in this hellhole she has to call a home. Shes trying to find a place in her mothers heart, while enduring the coldness her mother puts upfront. Shes lost...confused....exiled. This girl is trying to deal with the confused mix signals shes recieving by the one shes falling for without giving up completly which she is so close to doing. Shes trying to deal with the confusion and the stress that school has made, trying to make decisions that will help her along the way. This girl is still dealing with the pain, mourning for her loss, which seems so long ago yet is still freash in her mind. Everyone seems to have moved on. But noone understands the way she feels every day that passes when she cant talk to him, or even think of seeing him again for hes passed into heaven. Nobody sees the tears she sheds which crash down around her like hail in a storm. Nobody sees the anger boiling within her veins making her want to get rid of herself in the most harsh and painful way. People think they understand but heh im sorry to say but they think wrong. They got the mist of the idea but not the whole. All they see is the girl. Hiding her inner self so that noone she cares about is harmed. She bottles it up inside and is very cautious at letting anyone in. Noone really succeeds in doing so by the way. They see the girl who takes in her friends issues while she gots her own, yet she is still able to support them and give them advice and try to make them better. But nobody sees that her heart. Her heart once filled with so much love, once was whole, was settled with joy and peace.....is now slowly being ripped apart. Its amazing how she hasnt lost her sanity yet. She still has a levelhead.......at least thats what she makes it out to be. Its sad seeing how this girl who has done so much, and is having to go through more than she can endure. This my friends....is what lies beneath the girl you see.