Poem 5, Lament to my life.

[Kathryn Amanda Reel aka Mandy]

I see no point in this anymore.
If i have a life that is worth nothing
Then why am still here?
Every living thing has a purpose.
If that is the truth
Then what purpose is mine?
If i have a purpose, i don't feel it.
I don't see it. I can't hear it.
Yet i am still here.
When no one wants me here.
I hear those snide remarks.
The hurled insults ment to cut flesh.
I can still feel the metaphorical burn on my skin.
I feel the sinister hatred from others.
I'm nothing to those who don't deserve it.
They don't deserve anything.
Not me, not my time, not even my breath.
I won't waste anything on them, theres no reason to.
Why should there be?
I'm virtually harmless.
I'm the quiet girl in the back of the classroon.
Scraping by in the dim silence of my soul.
And yet they still manage to hear my voice.
The boyish soft baritone of my vocals that are mostly soothing.
Some think i sound smugg, arrogant, and retortful.
But if you listen closely and take out the harsh words
You'll hear the silent cries for help and comfort.
You'll hear the unshed tears that refuse to spill from my eyes.
You'll also hear the silent pleas for guidance
And the killing lonelieness hidden away in my heart.
Buried deep behind the pulsing blood.
If you took the time to listen to me.
Would you still be my enemy? Or my friend?