A story I am working on. What do you think?

8:45 a.m. and Hayley Hunicut had just arrived to the New York police station.
"Good morning," greeted Cindy, the secretary at the front desk. Hayley mumbled in return. "Sounds like someone is in a chipper mood this morning." Cindy added. "Get up on the wrong side of the bed?"
"I didn't have my Monster this morning." Hayley groaned as she propped her arms up onto Cindy's mahogany desk. Cindy shook her blonde hair around her face as she looked confused.
"Where's Cole?"
Hayley gave her a smug look. "Cole had fun with a drunk hooker last night." Hayley gave Cindy that 'go figure' look as she walked away from the laughing secretary.

Back at the roomates apartment, Cole rolled over to find a complete nude stranger lying next to him. He eased himself out of the bed to get ready for the day's work in the Big Apple. As he was finally away from the stanger, he jumped into the shower and as he was out, he tugged on a pair of clothes. Cole managed to finish his morning routine without waking the stranger. Cole Winston rushed out to catch a cab since Hayley was his source of transportation - and she was gone. He finally reached to the station and she rushed inside. Cindy greeted him with only a nodd since she was busy on the phone. Cole returned the nodd as he rushed to the office both him and Hayley shared together. Stepping in, he found Hayley clicking away on her computer.
"What's her name?" Hayley said without taking her eyes off of the computer screen. Cole leaned over her shoulder as she was looking at unassigned cases and wondering which one would be assigned to them.
"Victoria.." His voice trailed off a little before he continued, "..Secret. 34C last seen on my floor."
"I'll arrange to have the carpet replaced." Hayley glanced up at him with a smirk before turning back to her computer.
"Why didn't you wake me up?" Cole looked down to Hayley as she closed out the window she was looking at and stood up.
"I was going to. But, I was a little disturbed and didn't bother."
Cole had a confused look on his face as he stepped out of Hayley's way so she could walk out from behind her desk. Looking upon his confused face, Hayley sighed.
"Next time, tell Victoria to cover her ass. I didn't know we were having a full moon this morning."
She peeled her sweart shirt off of her back and dropped it on the back of her chair as she stepped out to catch the elevator. Cole smirked and hurried to catch up.
"So, you're a pro at nice asses, huh?" As he finished the sentence, Hayley pushed the elevator button before turning to him.
"If I was, I could easily tell you, it's not a good one. Mine is way better." Hayley joked with him.
"I'll say.." Cole mumbled under his breathe, thinking Hayley couldn't hear him.
"Quit looking." She commented as she stepped onto the elevator. Before Cole could step on, Hayley pushed the 'door closed' button blocking Cole out.
"Take the stairs." Hayley said as she smirked to Cole who now only say metal.

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Comment by King on January 28, 2009 at 12:56pm
Err, just a suggestion. You could try not being too repetitive with the character names and uh, write longer sentences. Anyways, good luck with the story and keep writing! I write stories as a hobby or if I'm bored and I have a tendency not to finish my works.


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