If walls could talk...

[Jennieglenn]

Life this year is feeling quite intimidating. I'm not sure why yet. but things lately have made me feel like all i need to do is shut my mouth, dont express myself with my voice, yet with my actions. 2008 is goin to be a challenging year, (though i'm not going to be speaking and complaining as much as i did in 2007, i am still going to write.) Thinking before i speak, and meaning what i say... using the effort for something worth the effort... Gossip, complaining, it isnt worth it, so often we waste our time talking about someone that wont change because we are talking about them... but we still talk...

Life is taking chances, making sacrifices, work... it wont end, it never will. there are calm spells, and rough patches when i think... i dont know if ill make it. i dont know if i really want to... but then there is always that message or comment that just simply says, " i luv you!" "Talk to me! i miss you" and i know that i must be strong and keep goin... there are constantly those rough spots that get to me. I know i have AMAZING friends that will help me through it.. but i just dont know what to do

Two or three years ago i was really quiet, never spoke my mind, didnt complain, just did what i had to do... it was so simple. that was the way i was raised... it is a mindless activity...just doing what you are told, dont fight, dont argue...control all your emotions, never show weakness... be the one people can count on... always be there... i love being that person... it is just draining... but i MUST be that person... that is who i am... i just wish to be successful at it. When there is no one you think you can talk to... bottling all the emotions isnt the way to deal... trust me.... that causes sleepless nights and tear-stained pillows....

If walls could talk they would tell of my sleepless...lonely nights...they would talk forever...