This Bird Isn't Chicken!!!
Hi my name is Henry Butterball and believe it or not but I am a turkey. I am here to bring to your attention the endless suffering and pain we turkeys go through this time of the year. Do you know how bad it feels being locked up in a fence awaiting your turn to die? No... well go ask a Jew... It sucks!!! There are countless times I saw friends and family led away to be slaughtered, just to be served on your dinner table on some day of Thanksgiving. Well you know what we turkeys would be thankful of... If you would quit eating us you Douche Bags! Yeah I know we are nice and juicy in your mouth, especially our breasts, but thats no reason to kill millions of us for one day. Here are some helpful alternatives... Pork. Its a juicy substance coming from pigs. Have a ham... pigs won't mind, they are all retarded homos anyways. Also try duck. Duck may not taste the best but if cooked just right you feel like your flying away... and no not because your dead and have wings. So in closing, save a turkey this Thanksgiving and celebrate the good times in life with a nice piece of gay, retarded pork, deadly duck, or who knows maybe a beefy cow. Or just go get a greatest hits cd of Phil Collins and become a vegitarian. Thank you for your time. P.S. Turkeys do not come from the country of Turkey and if you ever thought that you are retarded.
AN ORIGINAL PRODUCTION BY CASEY GENE MILLS!
This story originally was a text message, thus the length of it... lol