"The Three Little Pigs and the Great Jail Break"
Once upon a time lived three little pigs who ran into a bit of trouble with a big, bad wolf.
"You pigs better give me your rent money, or I'll blow down your house and put you in prison."
"Blow it down," one of the pigs yelled, "it will be funny seeing you try to blow down a cement house with laser beams on top of it."
Growing angry, the wolf howled and cried, "You asked for it." So with all his strength, he developed an ultraviolent wind turrent and with just a simple flick of a switch, the heavy cement house, with laser beams on top of it, was blown away like hay in a wind storm.
The three little pigs never kew what hit them... wheither it was the house blowing away from its sturdy foundation or if it was them flying through the air into a rushing river, they never knew. All they knew was when the woke up, they were in a place completely unimaginable... prison.
"I told you, Porky," said one of the pigs finally coming to his scences, "never tempt the evil scientist in London, or the big, bad wolf when he is looking for rent money. Now see where you literally landed us."
"Sorry Walter," cried the pig named Porky in a symphatic tone, "but its not all my fault... I was just telling Oswalt the other day we all should've gotten jobs to pay that big, ugly wolf's rent."
"Oh this is tragic," mumbled the pig named Oswalt in his traditional English accent, "but you know, I believe we could break out of this rusty prisons my old chaps." And Oswalt appeared quite correct. On the far side of the rugged cell was a pensized hole in which a light was peering through. "You see old chaps," smiled Oswalt as he spotted the hole, "all we have to do is find a tool to dig through the wall with so we can escape."
"Yeah," said Walter the pig in a sarcastic squel, "but there is just one tiny problem," after taking a deep breath he began to unravel, "THE WALL IS MADE TO PURE STEEL!!!" Or at least it looked like pure steel, but was it?
Seeing Walter might be correct, Porky, who never really cared for Walter very much, started examining the wall. After about a minute or so, Porky began ripping the steel sheets off the side of the wall. "This wall is not made of steel... it is only wall-paper," explained Porky with a happy smile on his fat face. "This wall is really made of wood chips and dried mud, the same stuff we used in one of our old homes... before that stinking wolf blew it down."
Looking around the cell, Oswalt still found a problem that could ruin them. "But how shall we escape? I see nothing in this cell that could possibly help us."
Seeing what Oswalt meant... all that was in the cell was a bunk bed, a book, and a dirty, old rat... something hit Walter's brain like a bolt of lightning. Whispering slowly, Walter told the other pigs, "I have an idea."
A few hours later at supper that night, the three little pigs put into action their so called 'wonderful' plan. After enjoying a smalled supper filled with hot vegetable soup and warm, buttery cornbread, the three little pigs were escorted back to their cell by a monster of a guard.
"Now, I don't want to hear a sqeal out of any of you or it will be the kitchens for you," and with a sly but commanding laugh, the guard closed the door and left the pigs in absolute silence.
"Ok," whispered Walter as quietly as he could, "did everyone get what I told them to?" With a rush of wind, the pigs all pulled out from behind their backs a different item. Walter pulled out a small silver spoon, Oswalt pulled out a wooden bowl, and Porky... pulled out a smushed piece of cornbread!
"What? We need some something in case we get hungry," explained Porky.
"Oh bother," chuckled Oswalt holding his wooden bowl, "lets just get to work."
As if in a gold rush, Oswalt and Walter stormed the wall deforming it with every scrap and dip of their useful tools. Porky sat and kindly watched for any signs of guards, while eating his some-what stale cornbread.
Within an hour or so, a hole the size of a pen transformed into a tunnel of salvation. With a final scrap with his now somewhat splintery bowl, Oswalt cried, "By Queen Elizabeth the Fourth, we have finally done it." The cell was beaming with the moon light casting them into a radient glow as if it were a light at the end of a dark cave.
"Well, what are we waiting for?" asked Walter with utter happiness. "Let's get our curly tails out of here!"
With a rush of joy, the three little pits flew out of the cell and away from the jail... and as they were flying, they saw the cow jump over the moon... just kidding. But from that point on, they tried not to be late with the big, bad wolf's rent money ever again.
P.S. This was originally an 12th Grade English paper... lol