blogs i couldn't bring myslef to delete

[rainsmile]

my old blogs Category: Blogging Friday, November 30, 2007 WARNING LOL Latley,i find myself aguing wit ppl.its quite amusinglol.so i want to warn all: if ur going to give me ur appinion about somting,be willing if u can't sway my appinnion,u better be prepared to defend urself for years strait^^lol LMAO yep its funny.....i gess i am getting stubborn, but mostly im bored so i have to ceep arguing to amuse me^^lol -tabitha 8:52 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove Saturday, October 13, 2007 when i spoke to the councler Current mood: amused the funny thing is,i was smilling the hole time,and on a few occasions, almost cried when i was talking about normal things....she desided i should talk to a professional at the school and im joining this group thing.....hehe life is beutiful^^ 9:30 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove Tuesday, October 09, 2007 i will never forget those eyes that suck me deep inside Current mood: tired yeah i relized i haven't wrote a blog in a long time so...hi so im livin in cali now.i like it here but i still feel like my real home is in ohio.i miss it so much...well more i miss those i left behind....i still love justin no matter what ppl say. there is so much i haven't told ppl,and to tell the truth i don't want to.im going to my school councler in 2 days. i just have been feeling like crap.i keep betting angry at my mom and she dosn't even do hardly anything to get mad at.and this morining in art class i was laughing for no reason and couldn't stop. i almost cried and laughed at the same time like i did at my dad's once. i just don't feel like im hole...i feel like my emotions are scattered all over the place and im doing evrything to collect them all. i just feel crazy lol^^i had to tell my teacher stuff about my family the other day sothat i didn't have to do this project...yeah i don't think it bothered me but she said ever sence then i have been acting different. i feel so misplaced and lost...i need to get my head back on^^lol so thats what has been going on in my head.well a quick summary of it at least. Currently listening : One Cell In the Sea By A Fine Frenzy Release date: 17 July, 2007 5:17 PM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove Thursday, October 05, 2006 thinking to self Current mood: amused i have been thinking to myself....and i don't think i'll ever truely trust guys....srry but its a sort of defence thingy..so yeah if it bothers u srry but thats how i am.....i've been doing a lot of thinking lately.....and i have a feeling that me being this way has its advanteges....well post somthing if u have a coment or whatever. 4:27 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove Tuesday, August 15, 2006 defences decay Current mood: sore a sighlent scream lingers in my soul, it screams to take control, these screams of hate wish to brake free, they wish to control me, i fight it as mutch as i can, i push this evil away, but sadly my defances decay, i will stand my ground till there is nothing left, i'm srry but i've tried my best, i will have to rely on my friends to do the rest..... 7:12 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove Friday, August 11, 2006 (plz read second)part 2 of imfo to understand where i'm comming from Current mood: angry ok well i got more messed up family probs but i gess i will put them down for all of u guys^_^ one of my brothers(he dosn't have a myspace)saposedly raped my sister>< that sister tried to kill herself a couple of times.first she cut then she tried to hang herself. another sister sleeps with guys too mutch and is having her 3rd baby and it will probly go up for adoption like the other 2. and i have....well i don't have aparently....2 little sisters that they say rn't blood related>< now another brother just moved out of my one sisters house and left them to rot.he hasn't talken to them and it ticks me off rilly bad>< then my favorite brother bruce....the onley normal one in my family.....he smokes and it ticks me off rilly bad too>< i just love my family^_^, well it could be worse.....i'm glad its not....plz don't feel srry for me^ ^ i wouldn't be me if these stuff didn't happen...... 7:35 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove Wednesday, August 09, 2006 (plz read first)this is for all of u so u all no where i am coming from Current mood: angry when i was little i moved to a town called saresvill,we had moved in with a guy named mark.....well,he always acused my mom of cheeting on him becouse she was working overtime to pay for stuff.....when we finaly couldn't take it eny more we desided to move.the day we had come to get the last of ower stuff.....he.....draged my mom across the grownd by her hair and tried to make her watch him shoot himself......i wish his brains were across the trailer that day.....it would have made my life a little easier at least...well to get back to the point my mom saved him.*crieng*his brain should have been across that trailor!!!srry.....back to the next insodent... we then moved to coshocton.we were on ower oun at first but mark found out were we lived and slashed ower tires DAMN IT MOM WHY DID U SAVE HIM!!so she met this guy named mike.she thout she was safe becouse mark never came around again......she was rong.....he was a drunk...and well......he acted like one.....he tried to hurt my mom and when i went to call him dad....he asked me if i was being a smart ass.... well my real dad was just as bad when i was 2 he left...he left us with holes in the walls.....a couple of years later he tried to kill himself and was put in a straitjacket... I WISH HE WAS STILL IN IT....he desurved jail....he beat my oldest sister and was of no help to us eny way....... now we r to the present just resenly i told my mom ex-boyfriend that he wasn't welcome in our house^^it was good.....i was scared thow he is like 6ft>.< well thats just the probs with my mom's bf picking i have more but.....i don't rilly want to say....lets say this is a demo^^oh and to my friends who r emo.......QUIT BEING A RETARD WE ALL HAVE PAIN BUT THERE R GOOD THINGS IN LIFE U JUST HAVE TO LOOK.....thnks for reading if u read it all...if u did ur a true friend thnks^^ 9:15 AM - 5 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove Tuesday, August 08, 2006 tears of blood Current mood: sad tears,streaming down my face,blood tears from all my hate,i wish he died that day,now my past just won't go away 6:28 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove