I don't usually post my blogs here since I have a blog on another site(multiply.com). Now, me and an acquaintance of mine from school were talkin' about his problems and that he really hates his parents for not letting him do what he wants and always being so strict on him and that his big sister is always sided with his parents and not with him, yada yada. All that stuff. He's cutting classes a lot and flunked out on most of his subjects. To tell em' whose boss, he says

Well, somehow, it got me thinkin'. Like something snapped inside of me. I don't usually care about people outside my circle of people that I care about. I'm apathetic like that. But yeah, it irked me for some reason.

Now, although I may never understand or I might not be able to relate about his problem. I can however relate to having a not-so-good childhood like most of you people do and that some people should thank whoever they believe in for havin' people who care about them.

I'm not one to share about my past because I insist on forgetting about it but as a sort of reference, I'll talk. My child hood wasn't the best, like I've said. Mum did drugs and was a compulsive gambler, dad kept blowing his cash on a another girl while me and my 2 sisters never had anything decent to eat. Well yeah, didn't really have any friends back then too, my big sister was the one I look up to. She always had a way to cheer me up. Unfortunately, she caught a disease that could've been so easily avoided if not for the neglect we were experiencing and died a few years ago. It devastated me, I ruined the knuckles on my right fist for punching the hospital wall too hard but the pain of shattered bones was nothing compared to losing someone very dear to you. My parents and other peers blamed God and said that this was all part of his plan. I never had much faith so I blamed my parents for what happened. Well, they did change their ways due to what happened but I felt that it was far too late.

I carried the anger all through out my early high school days. I cut classes almost failing every subject entirely, did marijuana(most of my friends don't know this, yes, even you Vinny) but I didn't see that my parents did change, I was too blinded by my anger. Well yeah, I haven't probably forgiven them until this day. I still cut classes but not like before. I'm starting to see pass the anger. Fortunately I met friends that I can depend on and also my grandparents(they are so awesome). They helped me see through the anger and to learn to forget about past mistakes and made me learn to let go and move on. I also regret doing everything bad that I did and stuff.

Now before I drag this thing too long. The point I'm trying to get across is. Be thankful for what you have, one day they might vanish into thin air and you'll only have yourself to blame for being such a self centered prick. Sure your parents might be a little to strict and your siblings might not want to side with you on the matter, but they're only doing this because they care and don't want you to fall into false influence. Smile for knowing that you have loving parents and friends you can depend on. And if you think you can handle yourself out in the real world, talk to your parents. Make them understand that you're train of thought is mature enough and that you can be a dependable person. Because if you keep thinkin' that you're the most important part of your parents life and therefore they they have to do what you want, then you are a selfish self centered bastard that needs a good kick in sensitive areas.

My father now has a really good job abroad and he's workin' his butt off for me and my little sister's future. My mum has not been takin' drugs for 3 years now and is busy makin' up the time for us that she lost while under she was under the influence. I really appreciate the effort both of them are giving and I can only repay them by being a good son. I'm really happy about my life now. And if my faith was a bit stronger, I'd thank God.

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Comment by kanela on January 12, 2009 at 3:13pm
i know i'm not close to you, but i'm here too, if you want to talk. i know what it's like, i recently started opening up to people about it, but i still have my anger, except i drink, to get rid of the pain and memories.
Comment by King on January 11, 2009 at 9:01am
Thanks, bruddah mang.
Comment by Vince on January 11, 2009 at 8:58am
baaaaawwww....although im not surpised with the fact that u did drugs man...darcell did drugs too...soo yea...but hell, u my best bud, im here for ya mah brother :D


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