Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's size 14-16 work boots.
Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
Leave a note on your door that reads: Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim: I went for more ammunition. Back in one hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls-they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all 4 of 'em in the house.