Another Day.Just Breathe.Just Believe.

It seems as though its always the good people who go so young...

Fifteen days ago today, my cousin ended her battle with cancer, at the age of twenty-seven. Although i was not extremely close to her, i feel that experiencing this loss within my family, has impacted me in more ways than one.

About two years ago i believe it was, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. of course, this was horrible news, but being the determined, positive woman that she was, meredith went through treatments, and just lived her life day by day, eventually beating it.

It wasnt until just a few months ago, when the cancer came back, this time more extremely. Family arranged a vacation to Florida for whoever was able to spend the week with Meredith, just to be with her and have fun. Her brother, some cousins and close friends travelled to Florida, and from all of the photos i have seen, they had tons of fun, considering the situation.

Shortly after their arrival home, Meredith was admitted to the hospital, and from then on, experienced many ups and downs.

Fortunatly, i had the chance to visit her, altthough only once. When i had the chance to visit with her, as i left, i didnt want to accept the fact that Meredith, my twenty seven year old cousin , was dying from cancer. She did not look like she was sick and she did not act like she was sick. Everything appeared to be normal. Although she did look tired, she was the happy, joking girl that i had always seen at our family get togethers. This upset me.

A month or so later, on the night of December 15th, i came home from work , and got the news that i did not want to hear.... Meredith had passed away.

When my mom told me, i was not sure how to react. It didnt seem real.

Later on that night, it hit me. and i was up all night, crying.

It wasnt until the funeral, that everything hit me HARD.

Honestly, you dont realize just how lucky you are to be alive and to be healthy, until you have to experience something like this- Losing someone you know, especially at such a young age. Its quite disturbing, actually. And i feel so greedy that it took something like this to actually make me realize that, fully.

The minister that spoke at her funeral, made a comment that went something like "god seems to take the people who are just too good to be here".. and in Meredith's case, i believe, that was true.

At only twenty seven, she had accomplished so much, more than many people would accomplish in a life time. She was one who had such a positive attitude about everything, and was always the one to joke around and lighten up any dark situation. Meredith wasn't perfect,by any means, as nobody is perfect, but she sure was an amazing girl , and you didnt need to be close to her to see that.

One thing that i found completely amazing, was how optimistic she stayed throughout her whole battle with cancer, living every day to her fullest. One specific thing that really touched me, and that showed her complete determination and extreme optimism, was a tattoo that she had done. .. the tattoo being the blue ribbon for ovarian cancer, with the lyrics from the song "breathe" by telepopmusik.. hand written across the ribbon, reading:

"Another day. just breathe. Just believe."

Those six words seem to play over and over in my head, ever since i saw the picture of her tattoo. They are words of hope. words of determination, words that everyone should just read, or think of, whenever they are having a rough day.. or even when their day is going fine. These words, have made me look at everything so much differently, thank you to my cousin.

To Meredith;

although we were not close, you have had a great impact on my life, as well as so many others. You were a great role model, and i definately feel i have learned so much from you although i didnt have the chance to get to know you as well as i wished to . You have given me hope, and have encouraged me to change my outlook on life. You have introduced me to six small words, that i think about every single day now, that encourage me to live every day to the fullest, even when my day may not be going well. I feel so sad,and am so sorry that you had to go through what you have gone through in the past two years. You were too young. You were amazing. But i guess it's true-- you mus have been just too good to be here! Although we are all sad that you are gone, we are relieved that you are no longer in pain and that you are finally at peace. Im sure that you are in heaven, smiling and joking with Grandpa Willsey. -Do me a favour?.... give him a hug for me.

We love you Meredith, Rest in Peace

<3

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Comment by Jami on January 1, 2008 at 4:59pm
thank you.. i just felt like i needed to write about it..and i never feel that way. im so sorry about your brother. its always the amazing people that have to go through the shittiest stuff. its horrible.
Comment by Katherine on January 1, 2008 at 4:57pm
thats amazing..

i have had experience with this stuff.. ok, i dont usually talk about stuff like this to strangers online, but my bro just passed from cancer last feb. when he was 22, he had a good attitude and humor too.

his cancer also came back, he first got it when he was 17 or 18, then he got better when he was like 19, then it came back.

ok, enough of that from me...

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