Jacquelyn Jade's Posts - The Red Jumpsuit Alliance2024-03-28T17:23:17ZJacquelyn Jadehttps://redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com/profile/JacquelynLonghttps://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/353097804?profile=RESIZE_48X48&width=48&height=48&crop=1%3A1https://redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com/profiles/blog/feed?user=0p2lppx9hkhka&xn_auth=noIm(re)pulsivetag:redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com,2013-08-13:1523676:BlogPost:3319942013-08-13T19:44:46.000ZJacquelyn Jadehttps://redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com/profile/JacquelynLong
Although this blog i technically nothing you want to hear about any of the sorts, and i would probably be the only one to ever visit this page. I find it hard to keep a journal to my self, and to chat among the ones i know. Yes i know that I am far from comprehendible, and life is life, and your more the welcome to tell me to get the Fuck over it. But for Know I will bitch and moan and groan when I want and how i want.<br />
<br />
I will showcase anything i damn well please.<br />
<br />
I will bitch a compliment any…
Although this blog i technically nothing you want to hear about any of the sorts, and i would probably be the only one to ever visit this page. I find it hard to keep a journal to my self, and to chat among the ones i know. Yes i know that I am far from comprehendible, and life is life, and your more the welcome to tell me to get the Fuck over it. But for Know I will bitch and moan and groan when I want and how i want.<br />
<br />
I will showcase anything i damn well please.<br />
<br />
I will bitch a compliment any one i damn well please,<br />
You find this offensive, then you shouldn’t have done what you did to make me bitch<br />
Even if you don’t know me from Adam to Eve.<br />
<br />
I jump around allot, but eventually i will get to the point.<br />
<br />
<br />
I have come to realize that no matter what i put on my body ink, or needle ripping threw my skin, that only 1 out of 10 people will keep there mouth shut.<br />
<br />
I have had nothing but grief over the art on my body, especially the new one to adorn my chest in the photograph above.<br />
<br />
And you know what if you don’t like it fuck you,<br />
It’s my body.<br />
<br />
Yes, impulsive, slightly out of character for even I, okay who the fuck am i kidding, it says everything about my concept of life.<br />
<br />
Find what you love, and destroy anyone who takes it from you. So yes take the words written on my chest and mock them, because i will destroy you to.<br />
<br />
My dreams have been put on for so long, traumatic drama after sacrifice had clearly made it’s way in to my life, and i had to take the gun and point into the direction to the lock on my needs and wants to life,<br />
<br />
And clearly that has pissed everyone the fuck off.<br />
<br />
So you know what, i need to something impulsive, and instead of doing something stupid, i went and got a needle drilled into me chest, and got the words i have told my self i have lived for, so i wake up look in the mirror and know, that no one will take me alive and if the try i will search and destroy till they no longer have any effects on my life, even if the consumes a short time of it, but hey i’m suppose to have like 50 years at the least, left if i make it that long.<br />
<br />
My favorite thing that people say are “How do you think thats going to look in 30 years, when your 60?” Who the fuck looks good at 60 years old, with out some type of cement or a home made formula of botulinum. Cause i sure as hell won’t. and at least they looked bad ass when i got them.<br />
<br />
also when i get a tattoo the adrenaline gives me the feel like i close my eyes and open them as a new person and i can take on the fucking world with a sharpened end of a toothbrush. and i felt the need for that rebirth after my father died, the need to be a new person. Sadly it didnt work. he’s still gone and the memories of that dreadful unexpected night is still there.<br />
or Maybe it was just a need to feel closer to image of the person i want to be.<br />
Either way<br />
Art is Art whether its on skin or paper, and it symbol of the time i had to grow up all so quickly, and not live the life of a normal 19 year old. And whether i’m okay with that or not i don’t have a choice. No one has a choice in those type of matters, or the facts that build there lives.<br />
<br />
But for now, i will fight the hard fight to be me, Jaxx, and girl that is built with undefinable complexes that people are constituently hounding for me to change. But they make me, ME.<br />
<br />
So again fuck you society and your blueprints and directions to build the perfect human race, cause this crash queen is not apart of it.In the end, you'll win.tag:redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com,2010-04-21:1523676:BlogPost:2257842010-04-21T01:16:47.000ZJacquelyn Jadehttps://redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com/profile/JacquelynLong
You never realize what fighting for your life means, until you have to do it. I fight everyday just to keep my eyes open. We have a hard time ignoring pain that we are given threw out life. Everyone has a deadly secret the no one knows, not even our closest friends. Things happen that, in the end we say we're okay about. but in the end some odd months or years we find ourselves holding on to it. We cry and we get angered about the fault, thats when i see we fight for our lives the most. I don't…
You never realize what fighting for your life means, until you have to do it. I fight everyday just to keep my eyes open. We have a hard time ignoring pain that we are given threw out life. Everyone has a deadly secret the no one knows, not even our closest friends. Things happen that, in the end we say we're okay about. but in the end some odd months or years we find ourselves holding on to it. We cry and we get angered about the fault, thats when i see we fight for our lives the most. I don't mean literally our life, but more along the sanity that keeps us here. As a human we never come to term with anything in actuality, we walk away from a fight only for it to kill us on the inside out. I wake up in the middle of the night and get upset because i realize what, why i did wrong, and there's no one possible for me to make it any better. But the actions that we take, the decisions we make, are what make us today, at this very moment. And I've realized, that in the end, even though i'm fighting to keep myself sane, in the end those moments of wrong, make me me. And That I can't change for the person next to me, and only him. I have to change for myself cause in actuality, you can't let go of these problems, you can't be truly happy until you've let go off all your mistakes and take the consiquences. Cause those consiqences are what make who we are, and in the end you win the fight.GLESEN Day of Silence 2010.tag:redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com,2010-04-15:1523676:BlogPost:2249532010-04-15T23:26:26.000ZJacquelyn Jadehttps://redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com/profile/JacquelynLong
Tomorrow april 16th is Day Of Silence. This day is to show support for Gays and bisexuals. The day of not talking helps recognize the silence most have to endure to excepted in society today.<div><br/></div>
<div>Show support don't Talk!</div>
Tomorrow april 16th is Day Of Silence. This day is to show support for Gays and bisexuals. The day of not talking helps recognize the silence most have to endure to excepted in society today.<div><br/></div>
<div>Show support don't Talk!</div>Poem- Wonderlandtag:redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com,2010-03-13:1523676:BlogPost:2207912010-03-13T18:00:00.000ZJacquelyn Jadehttps://redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com/profile/JacquelynLong
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">There’s Days I cry myself to sleep</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">I wonder what i did to live like this</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">I’ve done nothing but show my gratitude…</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">There’s Days I cry myself to sleep</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">I wonder what i did to live like this</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">I’ve done nothing but show my gratitude</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">But you treat my like this</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br/></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">I’ve cried before you</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">shown you my weakness</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">My highest points of not believing</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">told you my secrets</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br/></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">I’ve shown you my world</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Gave you the key</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">To my wonderland</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">your my high</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br/></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">But you treated me so,</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">I have to toke it more</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">everyday cause of you</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Drink my poisin</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">to drown out you</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br/></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">I showed you everything</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">My weakness</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">My highest points of not believing</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">and you left me in the dirt</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br/></p>
<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">You treated me like this</span></p>An Inspiring videotag:redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com,2010-03-05:1523676:BlogPost:2198192010-03-05T19:56:27.000ZJacquelyn Jadehttps://redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com/profile/JacquelynLong
Hey guys Jaxx here yet again.<div><br></br></div>
<div>This is short and sweet. I watched this video that was sent to me by a friend. I will happily admit my eyes watererd a little bit.</div>
<div><br></br></div>
<div><br></br></div>
<div>Watch it!…</div>
<div><br></br></div>
Hey guys Jaxx here yet again.<div><br/></div>
<div>This is short and sweet. I watched this video that was sent to me by a friend. I will happily admit my eyes watererd a little bit.</div>
<div><br/></div>
<div><br/></div>
<div>Watch it!</div>
<div><br/></div>
<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_2F_a4l5q8">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_2F_a4l5q8</a></span></div>My thoughts yet againtag:redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com,2010-02-28:1523676:BlogPost:2195482010-02-28T03:42:27.000ZJacquelyn Jadehttps://redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com/profile/JacquelynLong
Hey guys Jaxx here!<div><br></br></div>
<div>I've realized that bloging about thoughts actual help me understand a lot more things :]</div>
<div><br></br></div>
<div>So her I go again on yet another thought rant with a question for you guys which I might as well end up answering in the end.</div>
<div><br></br></div>
<div>I have realized in the last couple days that no one seems to care about anything. I find it quite hard to see that on one cares about anything. But people do. People have given up on hope…</div>
Hey guys Jaxx here!<div><br/></div>
<div>I've realized that bloging about thoughts actual help me understand a lot more things :]</div>
<div><br/></div>
<div>So her I go again on yet another thought rant with a question for you guys which I might as well end up answering in the end.</div>
<div><br/></div>
<div>I have realized in the last couple days that no one seems to care about anything. I find it quite hard to see that on one cares about anything. But people do. People have given up on hope in so many ways on so many things to the point were they just don't care about anything. Is it because our society has become so bad that the best thing to do for our mental health is not to care, or that we've just given up faith and hope all together? Is it because some people could be possibly so up set that the best thing to do is to not talk about it so the alternative answer would be to say "I don''t care" just to keep us from having an emotion break down. If that's the reason I find it quite sad to see that no one can trust anyone to talk to anymore. Maybe thats why the world is some what falling apart bit by bit. No one has no one to trust anymore. Or if they do the person stabs you right in the back. Maybe thats why there so much violence in this world, so many feeling bottled up because people are afraid to talk.</div>
<div><br/></div>
<div>when you look at it everything's based off of trust along with a lot of other things.</div>?tag:redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com,2010-02-22:1523676:BlogPost:2191112010-02-22T02:01:10.000ZJacquelyn Jadehttps://redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com/profile/JacquelynLong
Living in your own house being constantly reminded what a piece of dirt you are, sucks. I hate feeling like an item than a daughter. I feel like i'm a robot that has been programed to fail in my own house. Every moment is like a fight for survival. I was told that god doesn't hand you a deck of cards you can't play.....but i really can't play this hand no more. My mind is getting whiplash from my thoughts, I love her because she's my mother, But I have more hate than love for her. I wonder…
Living in your own house being constantly reminded what a piece of dirt you are, sucks. I hate feeling like an item than a daughter. I feel like i'm a robot that has been programed to fail in my own house. Every moment is like a fight for survival. I was told that god doesn't hand you a deck of cards you can't play.....but i really can't play this hand no more. My mind is getting whiplash from my thoughts, I love her because she's my mother, But I have more hate than love for her. I wonder allot if this is that how "Teenagers hate there parents" thing, But I see my friends argue with there parents, talk to their parents and i see nothing of the sort with my own. I know it must seem like i'm bitching, but i'm just using this as my venting board, cause frankly I know none of you and its easier.Poem helptag:redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com,2010-02-13:1523676:BlogPost:2181542010-02-13T23:30:00.000ZJacquelyn Jadehttps://redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com/profile/JacquelynLong
Hey guys im going to be posting a whole bunch of poems on here. Each year my school makes a book with a poem from each student(we have roughly around 4,000 kids). and I need help for which one to put in.<br></br><br></br><div><br></br></div>
<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">Remember</span><br></br><div><br></br></div>
<div><br></br></div>
<div>I Stop<br></br> To think and Wonder<br></br> <br></br>
I wonder where are you?<br></br>
Where’s the one who loved me?<br></br>
Where’s the one who cared for…</div>
</div>
Hey guys im going to be posting a whole bunch of poems on here. Each year my school makes a book with a poem from each student(we have roughly around 4,000 kids). and I need help for which one to put in.<br/><br/><div><br/></div>
<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">Remember</span><br/><div><br/></div>
<div><br/></div>
<div>I Stop<br/> To think and Wonder<br/>
<br/>
I wonder where are you?<br/>
Where’s the one who loved me?<br/>
Where’s the one who cared for me?<br/>
Where’s the one who promised?<br/>
<br/>
He’s gone<br/>
He left a while ago<br/>
With a bag over his shoulder<br/>
<br/>
And yes your still standing here<br/>
but your not him<br/>
You’ve changed your not here<br/>
<br/>
I miss the real you<br/>
The one who would do anything<br/>
The one who was there<br/>
<br/>
But...<br/>
He’s gone<br/>
He left a while ago<br/>
With a bag over his shoulder<br/>
<br/>
Yes I still see you<br/>
every now and then<br/>
if I ask, If I plead<br/>
<br/>
But even when I ask and plead<br/>
It’s like i’m a burden<br/>
I’m not wanted<br/>
But the old you would want me<br/>
The old you is wanted<br/>
<br/>
but...<br/>
He’s gone<br/>
He left a while ago<br/>
With a bag over his shoulder<br/>
<br/>
Sometimes I wonder<br/>
what’s in that bag<br/>
Was it good, or bad?<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Was it memories?<br/>
Was it good times,<br/>
Maybe bad?<br/>
Was it that promise you made?<br/>
<br/>
I hope it is<br/>
I wish it is<br/>
<br/>
Because if it is<br/>
I plead,<br/>
Open that bag<br/>
Remember where it came from.<br/>
<br/>
I know it was bad<br/>
All that we’ve been threw<br/>
But to you, it’s gone<br/>
<br/>
To me<br/>
I’m still here<br/>
living it<br/>
<br/>
but...<br/>
Your gone<br/>
You left a while ago<br/>
With a bag over your shoulder<br/>
Remember where you came from<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">
Shoes</span><br/>
<br/>
You look at me<br/>
Tears in your eyes<br/>
Pleading<br/>
Screaming<br/>
<br/>
Screaming me to stop<br/>
<br/>
You yell<br/>
I cry<br/>
You Hug Me<br/>
I push you away<br/>
<br/>
You tell me to stop<br/>
Even Though you understand<br/>
You call it Stupid<br/>
Even Though you’ve been in my shoes<br/>
<br/>
You Plead<br/>
and preach<br/>
I cry<br/>
I weep<br/>
<br/>
We’re both the same<br/>
You’ve been in my shoes<br/>
I’ve been in yours<br/>
But you still criticize<br/>
<br/>
I know the scars are there<br/>
You keep reminding me<br/>
They there in our Attire<br/>
And we grow tired of them<br/>
<br/>
But they’re still there<br/>
You right here<br/>
Not near<br/>
Or there<br/>
<br/>
But your right here<br/>
And even though you criticize<br/>
I love you just the same</div>
</div>the consequence of a mistaketag:redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com,2010-01-31:1523676:BlogPost:2168452010-01-31T04:26:24.000ZJacquelyn Jadehttps://redjumpsuitalliance.ning.com/profile/JacquelynLong
I've been doing allot of self finding in the last couple of weeks. It came to the point where i had to. I felt myself losing control. I felt myself on the fine line of reality and my own little world. I also hadn't realized that my actions, and mistakes where taking a toll on my friends.<br />
<br />
I hadn't realized why the world had been angry with me. But then again i wasn't thinking either. I didn't want to. My mom had just kicked me out, and i was backing living with my grandparents once again. My…
I've been doing allot of self finding in the last couple of weeks. It came to the point where i had to. I felt myself losing control. I felt myself on the fine line of reality and my own little world. I also hadn't realized that my actions, and mistakes where taking a toll on my friends.<br />
<br />
I hadn't realized why the world had been angry with me. But then again i wasn't thinking either. I didn't want to. My mom had just kicked me out, and i was backing living with my grandparents once again. My mind couldn't comprehend everything at once, her words only kept repeating in my head. I wanted her out of my life and she would't leave. I later realized that the mistakes that i made, made me lose a lot of people. I lost my best friend, and the respect of another.<br />
<br />
But I realized that, yes it sucks that i lost them to my own fault, but maybe this was a path that i had to get threw, and the were just obstacles on the way threw, that them themselves were the lesson. The lesson that is people who you think will be there forever really won't. One way or another, mentally or physically they will leave you. They might come back, but they will leave you. You feel crushed and hopeless because you once depended on this one or maybe more to give you happiness, to give you that feeling you might not get all the time.<br />
<br />
But in the end, I've learned, it will turn out right. You might not have a good day, but theres at least one good thing in that bad day.<br />
<br />
So Just think about who's important to you and live life to the fullest with them, cause they might not always be there.