Any writers?

[[She'sScreaming]]

I'm writing a story and wondering if anyone else is as interested in writing as I am...Here's the beginning of my story checkitoutttt.
Commentscritiquescompliments are welcomed.


She lie awake all night, images from the previous night flashing through her mind. A silent tear falls onto her pillow and she suddenly hears the beeping of her alarm. "Fuck.." She mumbles, knowing she should get up and turn it off..but she doesn't. Her bedroom door flies open and in comes her father, "Get out of bed, you lazy ass slut." He yells, grabbing her arm and yanking her out of her comfortable bed. "Okay okay okay!" She says, biting her lip. 'I won't cry, I refuse to cry infront of him' She warned herself in her head. He released his grip on her arm and shoved her, a small grin across his face. He turned quickly and slammed her door. That would be her father. Isn't he lovely? Ha. She quickly jumped in the shower, blow dryed her hair, and straightened it. She then got dressed and grabbed her crappy cellular device. She quietly creeped out of her room, hoping he went back to bed. But that would just be too much to ask for, right? He walked up to her and looked down at her. "I bet you are just trying to act like you didn't like that last night, you little bitch." He whispered into her ear. She could smell the alchohol in his breath and it made her shiver. "Have a good day." He said. She runs out the door and into the street as she hears his chuckles in the house. It makes her sick how good of a father he thinks he is...She suddenly sees one of her favorite people. She knew she would have to cover up how upset she was or else she would have to tell the whole story and she just didn't think she could do that right now...

[Brendan]

i used to write... it was terrible lol. i wwent back and read them the other day, and laughed so much.
although i do have one comedy fanfic which i still find hilarious.

now, urs seems pretty good. the only thing i'll point out now is that at sum points u seem more like the character is talking to the reader, which i personally dont like.
for example: "Isn't he lovely? Ha."
or: "But that would just be too much to ask for, right?"

does that make any sense?

[[She'sScreaming]]

Yeah..it did. Thanks for the input [: