Masquerade

[stephanie thomas]

You do not know me,

i am not who i appear to be..

I am not the happy smart preppy girl you see in class

I am the deep poetic unjust geeky girl that crushes on the guy i know i cant have

I am the girl who sits in the corner forcing back silent tears

I am the girl who knows every single answer to every question you ask

I am the girl who has daddy issues and fights a lot

I am the girl who you hate.

Yes, that is me.

I want to be the popular girl

I want to be the girl all the guys fuss over

I want to be the strait A student

I want to be the dancer

I want to be the singer

I want to be the gymnast

I want to be the violinist

I want to be the cheerleader

I want to be someone other than me

I want everyone to notice me when i walk down the hall

I want everyone to be jelous

I want to be the girl everyone loves and secretly talks about at lunch

I want to be the girl who is the center of attention all the time

No, i am not any of these.

I dont want to be the stuck up ***** everyone hates

I dont want to be the spoiled brat

I dont want to be fat

I dont want to be stupid

I dont want to be me

I dont want to have your pity

I dont want to have your sympathy

I dont want to be the center of the gossip everyone whispers about

I dont want to be the boring girl

I dont want to be me at all

But sadly, i am all of these things.

I feel like im screaming at the top of my lungs in a room full of people and no one looks up.....

I feel ashamed

I feel betrayed

I feel exiled

I feel stupid

I feel ugly

I feel fat

I feel unaware

I feel suspicous

I feel awful

I feel alive

I feel scared

I feel unhappy

I feel angry

I feel crushed

I feel humiliated

I feel every emotion

Yes, i do.